I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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