Porn is love you can see.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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