so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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