you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
