I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
