dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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