LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
