well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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