chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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