I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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