Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
