are you still at the devil's house?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
