Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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