This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
