I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
too bad you live with your parents still
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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