my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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