508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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