Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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