I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize