i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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