is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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