Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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