I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
