I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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