Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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