you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
