Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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