Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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