Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
