I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
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Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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