Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she smelled like a LAN party
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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