i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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