I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
