through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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