i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
even my farts smell like vagina
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
