I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
