Who wears a wallet chain?!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
