capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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