A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize