Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
