found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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