i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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