I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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