More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
