I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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