Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
