her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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