oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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