were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize