My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I AM VODKA MAN
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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