I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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