OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
