Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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