We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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