I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
