me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
