you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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