playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wish there were birth control emojis
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
