Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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