i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She bit a glass in half.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
