hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
