if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
