Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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