What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
