Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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